These Boots Are Made For Walking
I have few perversions that you could really call perverse, and no fixations to speak of. I have them, of course, just not to speak of. I wish to state now, for the record, that I have always found women in boots highly attractive. There's a black and white picture of my mother looking terrific in a 60s mid-length coat, bottle-blonde beehive hair, and knee-length black leather boots, so I don't have to imagine why. At toddler age and height, I probably had a better relationship with her leather-clad calves than I did with any other part of the family. It's no surprise to Mr Freud that to this day, I will look sooner and longer at a woman in boots (preferably black and knee length) than anybody else.
I was once paid the highest compliment it is possible for a woman to pay a man, which is, "You are lovely to go shopping with." Yes, I am. I enjoy it. I join in, finding new things for them to try on and delivering them to the door of the changing room. I like the arousal, the chase, the flirtation. I like shoe shops in particular. If I have a female/gay gene, this is it. I also buy shoes for myself - MEN'S SHOES - but just like a girl, far too many of them. I can wield a mean shoe horn. I had to work on not buying any more shoes until the ones I had were at least worn in.
I like dressing up, dressing down, dressing cool, dressing hot, dressing funky, dressing to kill, and I like undressing. I learned the one-hand-round-the-back mid-embrace brassiere-remove trick by the time I was 16. I learned how little you have to remove to facilitate sex. I learned to love stockings and skirts, and although I really enjoy unzipping and unbuttoning and unlacing, I especially like sex with shoes on, encased ankles and heels bumping my forehead, cuffing my ears, buckles precariously close to my eyes. These are the sex wounds of which I am most proud. "My GF kicked me in the head during sex." Oh yes, she did. It was an accident, caused by the incredible spinal flick-flacks of her enormous orgasms, and my insistance that she keep her boots on. Oh yes.
Over to Nancy:
|These Boots Are Made for Walking|
You keep saying you got something for me
Something you call love but confess
You've been a-messin' where you shouldn't a-been a-messin'
And now someone else is getting all your best
Well, these boots are made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots
Are gonna walk all over you
You keep lying when you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing when you oughta not bet
You keep same-ing when you oughta be a-changin'
What's right is right but you ain't been right yet
You keep playing where you shouldn't be playing
And you keep thinking that you'll never get burned
I've just found me a brand new box of matches
And what he knows you ain't had time to learn
Are you ready, boots?
This song I have always found fascinating, with it's sinister S&M threat of domination and punishment, and although my gimp days clearly belong in another life, it remains a thrill beyond the song. It deals with the forbidden, locked up sexuality, betrayal, and revenge.
Researching the story behind the song, which I knew to be interesting as it features the great Lee Hazlewood, I found Are you ready, boots? on Amazon, written by Johnny Heering "trivia buff" (Bethel, CT United States).
Nancy Sinatra was signed to Reprise Records mainly because her father owned the record label. After a whopping eleven flop singles, Nancy was given "one more chance", with the understanding that she would be dropped by the label if her next record didn't sell. Having nothing to lose, she hooked up with maverick producer/songwriter Lee Hazlewood at her next recording session. The resulting record, "So Long, Babe", wasn't a major hit, but it sold enough copies to save Nancy's job. Then the next record that Lee cooked up for Nancy, "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'", was a major smash and turned her career around. What comes next after a Number One hit single? An album, of course! Nancy first album was centered around that hit (and the sexy cover didn't hurt sales, either). I guess Lee was a little short on material, because over half the album was covers of other people's hits. Artists covered include The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Knickerbockers and The Statler Brothers. You know, all the usual suspects. The covers are actually pretty fun, thanks to interesting arrangements by Hazlewood. The CD includes four bonus tracks. "The City Never Sleeps at Night" was the b-side of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'". "In Our Time" was a relatively unsuccessful single, and "Leave My Dog Alone" was it's b-side. The mono single version of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" closes out the album. Recommended to all of Nancy's fans.
Lee wasn't short on material. In those days when being recording artist and songwriter did not by default go hand in hand, it was policy to cover other artists' songs,in the hopes that Dylan, Rolling Stones, and Beatles fans would rush to buy Nancy's offering, and thus increase her sales.
Lee recorded his own hilarious version of this song, which describes how the recording went: "the engineer Eddie Bracket said, if we don't fade this thing out, we're all gonna be arrested..." Lil Kim and her sister also recorded a version, which samples the original and adds a nice fat kick drum. BOOOOWWWWWWMMMMM!
Purely for evaluation purposes over Easter, you can find all these versions of this song here.
NB: An article by Dave Hill, entitled Why Do Men Love Kinky Boots? attempts to shed some light on the phenomenon, but doesn't do the subject any justice. ATTENTION ALL BLOGGERS: This man writes for a UK national newspaper - you can easily do better and frequently do.
Now where has that boot polish got to?